It was just another Sunday afternoon. We had been to church and grabbed a bite to eat, before heading home for a lazy, Sunday afternoon. The wild things were tucked away in various corners of our home and I headed out to the gym for an appointment with the treadmill.
When I arrived back home, I spotted Rob sleeping upright on the couch. The Sunday paper was strewn across his lap, his iPhone atop it all. His reading glasses rested on his face. It took my breath away. I snapped a pic - I couldn't help myself. This man is so handsome and holds my heart now and forever.
I know, sappy - gooey, gooey, sappiness. But it's true. In that moment - the moment I walked through the door and laid my eyes upon him, my breathe caught in my throat and I thought, "Wow, I love him SO much! I thought I loved him SO much on our wedding day over 17 years ago, but the love I have for him now doesn't even touch that!!"
I knew he wouldn't care for the pic - he had on his reading glasses, something that had entered his life in recent months. He's aging. We're both aging. In July, we'll celebrate 18 years of marriage. 18! Where on earth did the past 18 years go?!
I stared at Rob and found myself reflecting on us, our wild things. Time is flying by. Dylan is 16 and Lincoln is in kindergarten. There are no more bottles, diapers, strollers. Everyone can walk, talk, read and contribute to our family. I know everyone says to treasure those days when they are little - when chaos looms around every corner and you wonder if you will ever get to sleep through the night again. Everyone says you'll miss it so much - they grow so fast! They're correct - I blinked and that phase has come and gone. I did treasure those days and there are days that I miss the babes they once were, but I am enjoying this current season immensely!
Frankly, for Rob and I, this season of "reading glasses" has become our sweet spot. We're more rested. HALLELUJAH. Seriously, I will forever treasure the days when a babe was nestled between us, but honestly, Lincoln's 1st year is a bit of a fog - I remember it, but we were TIRED. Five children, ages 0-10, was NO JOKE. Now they can brush their own teeth. They can get themselves dressed. They read to one another. They do chores. They earn allowance. They make good decisions and they make poor decisions, but we can talk it out and move forward. This season is completely different than those early years of baby and toddler-hood, but take note - it is equally amazing.
Make no mistake - this season is tiresome in its own way. But it's a different exhaustion. For us, we're finding it to be more of a mental exhaustion than physical exhaustion. Homework - mounds of homework. And projects - science fair projects, typed book reports, memorization of the Preamble and all sorts of other great academic adventures. Conversations about peer pressure and other heavy topics have begun. Then there's those extra trips to the orthodontist to get more rubber-bands for the braces that you're convinced are never going to come off. Oh, and don't forget the extracurricular activities and sports! Hauling teen basketball players to away games and eating fast food for dinner 2-3 times a week. No, they are no longer babes in arms or taking first steps or experiencing rain puddles for the 1st time, but they are navigating a great big world and we get to be there to watch and slowly let go, while still protecting from a safe distance. It's exhilarating and scary.
As for our marriage, it's a time that requires a new level of communication between Rob and I. Family dinner time - something our family treasures, a time when we've always paused and connected - gets complex. Away basketball games or other commitments have entered our lives and we aren't always sitting together and eating at the same time. Date nights are now being interrupted with basketball games, church youth group activities and all day cheerleading competitions. Some days we have to divide and conquer and don't get the luxury of being together as a family unit. It's hard.
So as I gazed at my husband, I prayed. I prayed that the Lord will continue to guide us in this newest season. The 1st 17 years weren't perfect, but we preserved through sleepless nights, various medical diagnosis of wild things that could have easily torn us apart and other hurdles. As I look to the years before us, they will bring huge mountains to climb. Savannah will need heart surgery and it will occur during her preteen years. Dylan will graduate from high school and he won't leave the nest, at least not traditionally, and that brings about all sorts of odds and ends we'll need wade through. Jeremy will begin hormone treatment for his deficiency. We will need to decide about corrective ear surgery for Lincoln. How long we home school Greg is a question tucked in the back of our minds. And this is what we KNOW is on the table. This doesn't even touch those surprises in life, both the good and not so good, that we will encounter.
Marriage. Family. It's a job like nothing else - it takes everything to keep it alive and blossoming. But it's worth it. Oh my goodness, it's worth it! To those in the early years of marriage and/or parenthood, know it's possible - it's possible to love someone more after 17 years than you ever did on that 1st day together. Know it's possible to raise respectful, kind, loving children even in the midst of a world that seems to be falling apart most days.
& in the thick of the longest day, hold tight to God. Seek him in everything - from the big stuff to the mundane. By doing so, you're securing countless years of joy with those you treasure most.
